Monday, February 13, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Cheney Shoots and Kills Quayle in Texas


Vice President Dick Cheney, in an attempt to expand the powers of the Vice Presidential office, shot and killed former Vice-President Dan Quayle in a field in Texas this weekend. Motives can only be traced to some bizarre Oedipal-esque complex wherin the Vice President of the son kills the Vice President of the father.

Oh wait... this just in. Dick Cheney did not shoot Dan Quayle. He shot and killed a QUAIL. Not, I REPEAT, NOT a Quayle. We can confirm, however, that this cold-blooded murder took place in Texas, and therefore, we believe that the Vice President (Cheney, Not Quayle) will be eligible for the Death Penalty under Texas state law.

Oh wait... more news coming in as we speak. The Vice President didn't actually kill the Quail. Or the Quayle. No one died in the incident.

Oh wait... I'm being handed an update... the Vice President actually DID shoot a man while aiming at the quail. Neither the man nor the quail are dead. As such, the Vice President narrowly escapes the Death Penalty. Apparently, the Vice President is as good at hunting as he is at planning other actions involving weapons.

What I want to know is this... how much did Cheney's henchmen pay Harry Whittington to "take the hit"? I mean, I know this Administration goes to Herculean lengths to re-direct the media away from the stories they don't want covered, but isn't this a bit extreme?

Posted by FleshPresser at 12:22 PM /


  • Blogger James posted at 5:05 PM  
    Interesting way to post about your distaste for the man... I'm judging by your "reporting" on the issue, that you don't hunt birds.

  • Blogger FleshPresser posted at 6:35 PM  
    Color me guilty, James... I don't hunt birds, or old men, or Quayle, or even Cheney, given the chance.

    I'm really surprised.. you don't think my "reporting" was unbiased, even-handed and/or accurate?!? I'm aghast! (insert sarcastic tone and evil grin here).

    As opposed to your site, however, you are more than welcome to come back and comment in ANY way you see fit! :)

    Thanks for stopping by! :) You couldn't resist, could you? You HAD to come see what I was talking about, didn't you? It was eating you up, wasn't it? (insert one more evil laugh here)

  • Blogger James posted at 11:53 AM  
    You couldn't resist, could you? You HAD to come see what I was talking about, didn't you? It was eating you up, wasn't it?

    Actually no, I happened accross via BlogExplosion, but if it will help your ego you have a very decent grasp on sarcasm.

    Come on by, you're free to speak your mind, just keep it on topic and clean, and you're free to comment all you want.

  • Blogger FleshPresser posted at 12:41 PM  
    I appreciate your compliment, as well as your invitation. I gladly accept any ego boosts that come my way. Cash is nice, as well.

    I do like to visit the blogs of those with differing political viewpoints from my own, and I do take issue with those viewpoints from time to time - spirited political debate is healthy for those of all political affiliations, wouldn't you agree?

    I welcome your seeming new spirit of willingness to discuss these issues, given that the last time I visited your site, I was welcomed by statements like:

    SHUT UP.
    You’re lucky I even granted your comment with a response.
    Unlike in the real world, I do not run my site based on the rules set forth by the Bill of Rights… therefore, you do not have the freedom of speech, allowing you to post what you want at will.

    I fail to see anything that I posted to your site that would be labeled "off-topic" or "unclean" - and I welcome my readers to go visit James' site and take a look for themselves:

    Regardless, the past is the past, and I'll take you up on your open invitation for the future... I hope that you'll take me up on mine, as well.

  • Blogger Kitten posted at 3:34 PM  
    *grabs popcorn & a drink & gets comfy to watch the sparks fly!*

    GREAT debate boys! It is entertaining, educational, with just a *dash* of sarcasm and ever so present testosterone filled chest beating!

    I give it 2 thumbs up! Looks like yall even ended up on a civilized note. No measuring required! *grin*

    Seriously, great read. I enjoy the different points of view, even when they differ from mine.

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