Pressing The Flesh

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Obviously, the producers of Survivor loved the picture of Jana dancing out on Exile Island during Survivor: Palau so much that they've decided to make Exile Island a regular feature of most recent rendition of Survivor: Exile Island, which premieres tonight.

I've always been an enormous fan of this show - truly the King of Reality Shows. Before all the other wannabe garbage came along, there was Survivor. Without even straining too hard, I know that most of you can tell me the name of the first Survivor champion... although it doesn't hurt that he's been in the news as of late. But I dare you to tell me who the first winner of Big Brother was. Or The Amazing Race. No, Survivor stands alone.

This isn't to say that Survivor hasn't had it's moments of mediocrity, as well. Most notably, this last season was not it's brightest moment. But like pizza and ice cream, even bad Survivor is still pretty good. This season begins with four tribes, separated by age and sex, a hidden idol, and Exile Island. I'm in.

So, here I go... boldly diving into the fray to predict the outcome before its even aired. I'm sure I'll regret my choices, but what's life without a little regret?

FIRST SURVIVOR TO GET THE SNUFF:
Misty Giles - although she's one of the young women, and therefore typically not one of the first to get voted off, I predict that the young women's tribe will be the losers of the first challenge, and will therefore have to eat one of their own. Not too much need for electrical engineers on an island.

FIRST SURVIVOR TO RETCH IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER:
Melinda Hyder - OK, so it may take a strong stomach to be an entertainer at both Six Flags Over Georgia AND Dollywood, I'm fairly certain that Melinda will be the first to be doubled over behind a tree after eating a particularly nasty grub.

SURVIVOR WITH THE BEST PORN NAME:
Shane Powers - enough said.

FIRST SURVIVOR TO GET NAKED:
Courtney Marit - Mountain-climbing performance artists have no shame. She may just wind up being my favorite. Maybe.

MOST VALUABLE SURVIVOR EARLY IN THE GAME:
Cirie Fields - Born in Jersey City, she's an operating room nurse and surgical tech - who do you think everyone is going to come running to when they stub their toes? She lists cooking, fishing, and carpentry as some of her skills. She'll make it to the merge, but will make a tragic mistake which will doom her. How do I know? Something tells me that a contestant who chooses to LOSE 30 pounds once she finds out she's chosen as a contestant... Cirie, the whole idea is that you lose the weight once you're ON the island, not beforehand.

THE FINAL SURVIVOR THIS SEASON:
Dan Barry - it's hard not to like Dan's chances in the game. He's a retired astronaut, for God's sake. The man holds five patents, so he's at least a little smart. He's older, which might work against him, but PTF is putting our chips on the guy who's logged 734 hours in space - almost as long as he'll be on the island.

Posted by FleshPresser at 1:43 PM /

1 Comments

Meghan posted at 5:51 AM
How is it possible to be so cool as to be a fan of both the 'Skins AND Survivor??

It boggles the mind.