Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Kyra Phillips Pisses Standing Up

For a long time, it was just an underground conspiracy theory, but today on CNN, it was confirmed for the world to hear. It requires a bit of mental theatre, but just imagine the picture of Kyra standing in front of the urinal, jabbering on to some poor pathetic soul trapped in the bathroom with her, while HER MIC IS ON and the network is carrying Bush's remarks on the Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.

Not that he was saying anything important, anyway.

Keep an ear out for that fateful "zip" toward the end.

Happy Anniversary, New Orleans!

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Posted by FleshPresser at 3:31 PM /


  • Blogger The Professor posted at 9:29 PM  
    Hmm... She is talking to a FEMALE, and somehow that leads you to conclude she is at a urinal?

    I hate to say that, perhaps, your knowledge of women's clothing is a bit limited, if you think that, for instance, skirts don't have zippers.

    Ahh, well.

  • Blogger FleshPresser posted at 11:01 AM  
    Prof... are you the kind of guy that stands around when people are telling jokes and insists that a duck CAN'T possibly walk into a bar, and even if it did, it CERTAINLY wouldn't be able to talk to the bartender???

    Dude. It's a joke. Get it?

    Certainly I thought you of all people would appreciate a blow across the bow of the alleged "liberal media".... oh wait... maybe we run to the defense of folks like Kyra Phillips because they are (gasp!) not so liberal after all???

    Lighten up, Francis. We'll have plenty of times to spar in the coming months. No need to waste it all now on Kyra Phillips.

  • Blogger The Professor posted at 7:55 PM  
    Actually, I have no idea who Kyra Phillips is... none.

    It just seemed like another of the many jokes coming from so many these days attempting to paint people as somehow transgendered, gay, lesbian, or whatever.. (comments about Ann Coulter.. your homo-erotic story about Bush and Joe...) I just don't get why liberals, of all people, think jokes that have the intent of DEGRADING someone by hinting they are gay is funny.

    Did those go out with that whole sensitivity movement? I didn't realize that being considered "Gay" was negative, and thus made for a funny joke...

  • Blogger FleshPresser posted at 2:30 PM  
    sigh... (FleshPresser takes Prof and leads him away from the group laughing around the water cooler, sitting him down to try and explain the jokes)...

    Just because I reference that Kyra Phillips pisses standing up, you leap to the assumption that she's gay?!? You're insinuating that gay women piss standing up??

    The joke makes reference to the fact that, although Kyra Phillips doesn't hide her conservative bias very well, she's a creampuff - a very light, fluffy, and therefore rather inconsequential "news anchor."

    It's the juxtaposition of a "creampuff" like Kyra actually being so "tough" behind the scenes that she actually pisses standing up.

    Not nearly as funny, as I said before, when it has to be explained like this.

    As for the explanations of the other posts... I don't believe I've ever made reference to Ann Coulter being GLBT - though I know that there are others who make reference to her pronounced Adam's Apple, etc.... those who do that miss the point. One must attack Coulter because she's a loudmouthed, racist, ignoarant moron.

    I don't believe in attacking people because of their physical shortcomings... it's unfair to attack Ann Coulter because of her "masculine" qualities, or Michael Moore because he's fat, or President Bush because he suffers from a mild, yet high-functioning case of mental retardation.... DOH! (FleshPresser tweaks Prof's nose)... gotcha again. See? It's just humor. :)

    As for the story I posted about Lieberman and Bush... the joke wasn't the notion of either of them being homosexual. The JOKE was that Lieberman is "in bed" with Bush.... get it???

    It's so cute to watch Conservatives try to be sensitive to differing lifestyles from their own.

  • Blogger The Professor posted at 1:10 AM  
    Actually, I guess I have to agree with your sentence "Not nearly so funny..." Although I would end the sentence there.

    Perhaps I just haven't had much use for bathroom humor.

    Ahh well...

  • Blogger FleshPresser posted at 10:06 AM  
    Riiiiiiiight. Of course. You have no use for bathroom humor, but you read the title of the post, read the post itself, and thought... "hmmm... this will be something intellectually engaging that will stimulate my humanity and develop a keener awareness for me of the human condition."

    C'mon...... that high and mighty, intellectually superior, morally upright thing just doesn't suit you at all.

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