Saturday, March 04, 2006

A Treatise on Gay Marriage

I'm not sure where these originated from, but I liked them - thanks for the post Kayte Ala Mode - and as such I'd like to present them just as I read them, without much more explanation, in the hopes of some friendly weekend discussion:

Arguments "Against" Gay Marriage:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. (and so readily allow single women to have abortions when they feel they can't raise a child on their own)

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

11) Gay couples are a harmful influence on their kids, because all gay couples abuse their kids, daily.

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Posted by FleshPresser at 1:59 AM /


  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at 2:34 AM  
    I love how it puts the subject into a reasonable argument(and humorous).
    There are very ignorant people who need to see this, and understand why being against gay marriage is so ridiculous.

  • Blogger Dr. Blogstein posted at 2:50 AM  
    I'm all for it, its certainly worth a try. I'm actually more against straight marriage, at least until more than 50% of us can get it right!

  • Blogger Meghan posted at 3:23 PM  
    You know, I think I'd like to try the whole "gay" thing.

    I mean, that candy bar Kayte gave me the other day was really delicious, so it would only go to follow that...

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